Because They're Everything I'm Not

When you're feeling stressed, a simple phone call from a loved one can be as good as a hug. In a new world today, most of us only think of our partners when it comes to the word "love". Well, being single taught me a lot instead of giving me some different perspectives about "love".

When I'm feeling stressed, or each time the boredom strikes, a simple phone call from my loved ones, would simply makes my day bright enough. Frankly I say, we cannot swing up on a rope that is attached only to our own belt. We need other human beings. A short phone call that enables me to chat about anything or crapping around, would be enough to dip down the temperatures. To me, "love" is a desire for that lost half of ourselves-- and that includes family and friends. Boyfriend? That's a bonus (: Share your stories with your loved ones. That would help :-)

Oh this break, I do a lot of reading. Maybe not that 'a lot' that you're probably thinking by now, but seems a lot enough to me (HAHA) oh yeah Imma lazy bumbum who don't do reading and eventually, I jump from one article to another these days. Nothing has got into me. Just trying to learn something new-- about other cultures, people's stories, and see the unseen. Haha!! (Probably, the boredom shot me hard on the head)

Ahh, I found this one joke that got me.

"A one-dollar bill, five-dollar bill, and hundred-dollar bill all died and went to heaven.

God saw the one-dollar bill and said, "You've been good," and lets him in. He also lets the five-dollar bill in for the same reason.

When the hundred-dollar bill came up to him, God said, "Well, I never see you in church". " --Allenine Nicole S. Namuco.

Mendermalah seikhlas hati, ya kawan kawan. :-D

Oh, I have met new friends named Talking Tom and Talking Carl. Crapping with Achik's iPod Touch drives everyone in the house insane, and also Fit! Haha. It's a cute, and extremely annoying application. Sumpah tak tipu. And yeah, I've tried the Forza 4 already. Botak, BEST BODOOOOO!!! Lagi style kalau you belanja I stereng satu. Haha!

Oh oh got this one cute story shared by Carol Howard.

"The highlight of our trip to the zoo was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it.

That evening, he couldn't wait to tell his father: "Dad, guess what? I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken today!"."

Chicken.

Hehe.

Jealousy, that's what I'm dealing with these days. I'm not quite sure why, but the feeling, its there. But just now after reading about a story of a man named Jun from Dahican Beach, Philippines catched me good. Growing up in poverty, but never feel awful about it, give me a good lesson today. "No pain can stop me from what I have started," he remarks. As a young man, Jun showed no interest at first but turned out at the age of 30s, he started mesmerizing the group of surfers from the city riding their boards atop the waves. He started questioning himself, why should only people from other places enjoy what we have right on our shores? Starting from that point, he started to go surf and make his own board! Pretty awesome, right?! Despite of getting injured, he never gave up. Since he started became friends with the shores, he decided to help today's youngsters develop their skin-boarding and surfing skills with another goal-- to lead these youngsters away from the temptations of smoking, drinking and petty crime. The founder of the Amihan Surf and Skim Team, does the work without any pay or any support from external agencies, and now his work is all paid up!

"I may not be rich but somehow I have made a difference in the loves of these kids," he said. "They are my treasure".

If that so, I guess, being wise isn't that hard. But the heart is making it harder. That's why we never live in a way that we ever wanted. But even if some say that money can't buy me love and happiness, but I guess money provides some pain relief, and that makes me happy! Maybe God knows what’s better for Jun, and now he got a great story to tell. Fair enough. Yet, surfing sounds sexy ;) Maybe I can't live my life exactly like Jun's, but some things that I treasured from his story is never envy about others, but be useful to others. Do things that you love to do, and stay positive (as well as stay healthy). We never know what’s coming in our way later, just do our best to improve and never forget the Almighty. Maybe this might sounds a bit lame but, things happen for reasons. And it always will be. Anyhow, we still have time to create some great stories to tell. Fate is where God wants us to travel in but faith does well in it. Always remember, everyone is a hero in their own way-- just in their own not-that-heroic way. Heh.

Hello my dear future daughter(s) and son(s), Mama is still in the making. Got lots of stories to share with you. Hope you'll find it helpful. Stay put! :P

Just randomly checking out the old hardisk. Haha! Old times, baby. Old times. Dammmmn, Facebook bores me so friggin' bad. So, I guess I'm going to crap alot here and please excuse the lameness. That's the least I could do. Oh this Saturday, I'm going for a road trip to the north. Hope it would be fun. And by next week, in my calculating, I'll be visiting my all-time-heartthrob, Lim Pranit a.k.a. Fazlin Aishah. (Al-fatihah)

I'm not excited. I just flow.

Future is my surprise. Curiosity is my friend.

Unpredictable, that's my name.

Lovedrunk

Baby Baby Eeeee!

Yeah, I rindu you, Munki!! :D

I had my passport renewed this morning. Yeay!! Oh oh oh and I got my Wup fully tinted and well dressed!! Ho yeah!! I got all his accessories-- ticked!! Ambi Pur je belum. Thank you TheBrothers for pimpin' my Wup. Harharhar. And I love you, daddykinss!! So happy so happy!! But oh-not-so-happy. I have to do my medical check up tommorow.

*Finger cross*

I may need yours.

I had a very loooong conversation with Vico just now. Thanks, girl. Thank you for everything. Maybe you're right. He may seems jakun, 'cuz deep down inside, he's a good kid. But yeah, to me-- he's dead, and all gone already. But thank you for telling me the whole story, Sayang. Oh in your case, I'm praying for the best for both of you. I hope everything will gets better in time. Always hope for the best for you and Azim. I love you you both.

And you too Zaza. Always remember, I meant it-- I mean, what I wrote in my journal when we were in Part One, kerja Fazlul cirit tu. Every single words, I tell you. I meant it. Feel lucky ok bitch, 'cuz back then, got someone used to get envy with you because of that. Haha! But yeah, it's true. I love you too and you're welcome. (Haha!)

See, Imma good kid. What's not to love :P

(Nov 23,2010)

Happy Meal :-D

It was great to spend the night away with your besties. After we had our late dindin in Pelaga 13, we went to extremepark (the only place you can be at this kind of time). We really had our heart to heart time. It's been awhile, kan? Hee. Never feel better. Thanks, you guys. ((:

Didn't realized it was 5:30am already. (Me goshh)

The next day was very very adventurous. From Shah Alam> Pavillion> Uniqlo> Desa Petaling> Bukit Damansara> The Curve> Petaling Jaya> Bukit Damansara> Desa Petaling> Subang Jaya> Shah Alam. What a day kan? Thought of eating dinner at Tram Car Cafe (it's my favourite place to be!-- thought of bringing Cdek there tapi tak sempat) , turned out we end up at Restaurant Bidara Subang. And wow, guess what? Ada orang tu lari dari tempat kerja. -___-" Tahniah lah. And thanks for coming. I'm sorry if I didn't talk much with you. Jangan mengada ngada nak merajuk yeah. But but, thanks for coming all the way from Cheras to Subang. Really appreciate it (:

It was almost 3:30am. Amirah is working tommorow. So, yeah. After we send Cdek home, I drove the VivaForever balik. Sejurus sampai di rumah, Amirah terus tumbang. Wow. But, I can't sleep! So, I went out and onlineee. Thanks for temaning me, Arif. We went offline right after we heard the azan. Subuh dah woi.

I had fun these two days. Thank you Amirah, Thank you Cdek, Thank you Adie, and Thank you Ajin. Oh Jinjin, agak best sekodeng you working in Tangs. Haha! Oh, the day is getting better when I saw my adorable Wup, waited for me infront of my house. OMG OMG OMG!! WUP WUP!! Later, I'm going to get him tinted and get him dressed!! Sangat excitedd!! Eeeeee!!

I'm hungry. Feed me.


(Nov 22,2010)

His 11th

ALIFF's BIRTHDAY!! Honestly, I didn't buy any present, just yet! Totally forgot about that. Baru teringat semalam, and it was 6pm already. (mati, MATI!)

Today, I woke up at 8:30am. Menakjubkan, huh? After I had my shower, I just gamble searching for any stuffs that I haven't use yet inside my secretbox, and luckily, I found one! (God bless me!) Got this one thingy that I bought from Jonker Walk last year. So I just put it inside one paperbag and Tadaaaa! I'm saved! But the day wasn't that bright for Achik 'cuz she doesn't prepared any too. So, she 'kena' lah with Abah siang tadi. Heh Heh. Sorry, tak boleh tolong :P

We had our dindin in Pyramid, and I'm all stuffed. Now its time for Han Ki Jo!! Oh wait, today is Ajin's first day working. All the best, Gemuk! Jangan curi tulang. :P Oh, btw. Later we're going to Bukit Tinggi. (Danny, explanation!!!) and soon in December, we're going on a trip to Kedah and Perlis, to find some relatives there. (That I never knew.-- The chinese ones) Can't wait! Okay, my dear Ki Jo is waiting. Toddles everyone! :D

Doubting Some Doubts

I'm bored being bored! Just woke up. I don't know what to do and it's 10 something something p.m.. Besides skyping, I chat with Cdek but suddenly he went M.I.A. (wtheck?!) I am now scrolling down the quizzes page on Facebook. Whateverrr. Oh, and I found these few quizzes.

What Colour Is Your Soul?

WHITE - The Peaceful Soul

Peace is the most important thing to you, and you are quietly independent. You need to feel good about yourself. You hate trouble, and being pushed around by others. You prefer suggestions to demands, and can't understand cruel people. You don't get mad easily, but when you do, people better watch out! Red souls irritate you. You open up easily to blue souls. Yellow souls interest you, but are unlikely to notice you. You'll get along well with other white souls.

What Kind Of Flirt Are You?

YOU USE YOURSELF

You draw your desired partner's attention in with your beautiful eyes. They just can't resist your big, lovely eyes so you take advantage of that. You're a great flirt because you are subtle and not everyone can do what you do. You make great eye contact, which makes you (or makes you seem like) a great listener and your partner will love it.

P/S: But my eyes aren't that big though.

What Tattoo Describes Your Personality?

FEATHERS

You will have alot of charity, dream, and hope coming your way. You are able to be who you are and not care what anyone thinks and that's why everyone wants to be around you. So, don't change!

Which Season Are You?

FALL- Season of Wind

You are a colourful and bright person but can show you're colder side at times. Walking under a row of trees in the autumn wind is the perfect thing for you. You don't always open up easily and you have a vastly creative mind. Even if you don't really like to be in a huge crowd a small group of friends will do for you. You can be quite meek at times and is not good with crowds. You tend to hang around at the back of the group most of the time and you can be quite evil-minded when provoked.

More on personality quizzes, kan? **Just realized. Oh wow. Sorry if I bore you. 'Cuz I'm bored. And I can't sleep. Help me. Please. Plus, the broadband is fucked up! So slow lah the connection. Oh oh, btw, this evening, Mama asked me, "You want Chicken Chop? I'm cooking" "Naaaak!".

Turned out I was the only one that she cooked for.

Weird, isn't it? I told Arif about it and he said, "Maybe your Mama loves you more. Sometimes I get the same attention as well." Nu'uh, my Mama is not as loving as your Mama. I smell something fishy.

"Tadi drummet mahal gila babi oh, Kak. Kecik macam nugget harga dia 13 ringgit satu!"

"Drummet apa benda ni"

"Tadi kitorang makan kat Bangsar Village"

NO WONDERRRR!!!!!

Zulhijjah 11, 1431

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidiladha!
Hope you make some cows happy today!
Wee!

I may not making any cows happy today, but I did made my tummy happy! After we go raya raya at Glenmarie, we went to Abang Ngah's place in Kajang. BBQ, baby! And of course, I didn't do the bakar bakar part. It's too smooookey. Oh oh, I also ate cheesecake today! And it was SR's New York Cheesecake. Eventhough it was not Pecan Macadamia like what I wish for, but still, it's a CAKE! So happy!

Later, we went to KLIA to pick up that Buncit and I accidently heard this one english man's conversation with a stranger that stood besides Abah.

"Who are you waiting for?" the lady asked.

"My wife.. I haven't see her for 3 weeks and she's coming back now"

The conversation held for a while.

Suddenly, a Malay lady came out from the gate's mouth.

"Oh, that's my wife! That's my Wife! MY WIFE!!"
The man screamed while running towards his wife and left the unknown lady all out of sudden, without any warning, and not even a word.

What a loving husband, kan? Lucky her. (: **jealous

Okay okay, back to the topic. And there we go, still standing. We stood in front of the international arrival for one friggin' hour!! Damn you, Buncit. But but turned out she suap me this one Cheesy KitKat. Wee!! Tummy so happy!!

And she gave me this. (Hers and mine) So sweet, right?

Guess what? She bought some ole-ole from Japan (like duh) but 80% is all FOOD!! You went to Japan, and all you bought is FOOD?!!! (biological sister, confirmed) And what I hate the most is, she took so little of pictures!! Stupid fella. Goshh!!

What Can I Do?

So many good things for which I feel totally blessed. Good family, good friends, good health, etc etc. (huh, gediklah) So far, I'm still torn about what I'm working on. I originally planned to use this holiday to do -- whatever shit that makes me happy, eventually. But at the last minute I decided to start something new. What's up with 'something new'? By making another plan. What's the plan? Let the future Illy decides. For now, let's just put it aside, shall we?

Nothing much to do. Besides burning another 100cal, and cleaning up my room- I got my Tuesday totally sold out. I spent the whole day watching KBS, and end it with Lovers in Paris. Wee! Han Ki Joo! Auww!! -- I bought it for RM139.90, back then in 2005. It may sounds jahat, but I bought it using my late aunt's money- that she gave me right before she passed away. *sigh. Now, that thing only costs for RM69! #@$%&! I remember, Alia asked me up to a billion times before I pay for it, but YES YES YES I'm so gonna pay for it! 'Cuz I believe, this thing will never failed to make me happy, guess it was worth it to spend the money for this DVDs. Turned out, it was true. I never regret, until now. ((:

Oh oh oh! Tomorrow RAYA! Wee!

Tomorrow's bucket of things to do:
- Sembahyang Sunat Aidiladha
- Makan breakfast.
- Raya @ Glenmarie (Abah's)
- Makan, again.
- Raya @ Kajang (Mama's)
- Makaaaaaan (6 harakat) again.
- Pick up Achik in KLIA
- Dinner a.k.a. makan. Again.

Oh see, a big big raya SMILE for you!!

Okay, gotta admit. CUTI SANGAT BOSAN. *phew. Feels like jumping off the bricks but maybe being dead wouldn't be that awesome. (I guess?) In fact, no, it definitely wouldn't be so awesome. Oh, I played the SKATE game!! Yeah, skateboarding!! -- (video game, of course) I play games that I never thought of playing!! I'm so out of my mind right now!! **Cheese and fries! I've tried everything!! Shoot people, kill people, Disney games, Karaoke games, etc etc -- BUT NO FOOTBALL. Yes, NO NO NO. NO SOCCER. It makes me sick. Always steals people's boyfriend. Grr. I hate you, football. And yes, I'm serious.

Achik will be home by tomorrow. That's a relief. At least I don't have to bug myself to release my tension. I got nobody to annoy, and that's BIG, okay. It's a big, fat, huge of PRESSURES.
*I wanna kill myself I wanna kill myself

And I love Ribena. The End.

Peace Up, A-Town Down!

Well, well, well. It's 15th already. Raya Haji isn't around the corner anymore. It's just next door! Tomorrow morning will go pasar with Mama and Abah, shopping for the groceries. Nasi dagang, again. Everytime Raya must have Nasi Dagang. But technically, I'm not craving for the nasi but the chicken curry!! Mama's the best!! (sebab kurang pedas+it's CHICKINSS,man!)

Soon, Achik will be landing home. Hopefully she's enjoying the snow right now. Haha! Now she has became the second person in the family who have met the snow after me. Haha, the funny part is, both of us met the snow in Japan. What a coincidence isn't it?

Currently, I'm spending my semester break with my family. I know, many people going to to say, "gila bosan kau ni. Tak bosan ke?" But I will come up with, "Tak lah. Kenapa?" because I really really don't feel that way. Maybe for sometimes when I don't really have anything to do, not even a thing. But eventually, I feel nothing - heartless. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. Well, for now I have nobody to entertain, so that's a relief. Not that I'm saying being in a relationship burdens me but I just don't have the feeling like entertaining anyone right now. For once, I wanna do things for myself, spend time with myself, or having some self quality time. (wtheck?!)

Tadi nampak lipas. Sangat takut. Eeeeeeeeiii!

I wanna go bowling. Tapi semua taknak T-T They just want to shop and shop and shop. I'm done with shopping spree. Got to make some savings for the upcoming YES and for the rest of break. And I'm so deeply craving for Chicken and Cheese Crispy, oh oh and Secret Recipe's Pecan Macadamia and Carrot Slice. Urghh!! Somebody, kill me now. Please!

"If you want to leave me now, just leave me now, it's the better thing to do. It's time to surrender. Too long pretending. It's no use in trying- when the pieces don't fit anymore. Pieces don't fit, anymore" Oh, that was James Morrison's. Beautiful isn't it? (wtheck?!) Neah, just listen to the random playlist. And now it's Ashley's. "When I'm angry, you listen. When you happy, it's a mission. And you wont stop, 'till I'm there. Fall, sometimes I fall so fast. When I hit that bottom, crashed. You're all I have. Oh, it seems like I can finally rest my head on something real. I like the way that feels. Oh, does if you know it's better than I ever knew myself, I love how you can tell. All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me" Lalalalala~ But I prefer her "Boyfriend" and "Lala". FAVOURITEESS!! :D

Sangat mixed up, kan?

Something stops me everytime. I don't know. Having this empty feeling left me wondering. Wondering for nothing. I have nothing to wonder about but I am wondering, even when I have nothing in mind. It's like being hanging without knowing the purpose and reasons. So, in the time being, everything will haunt your mind. From your first bestfriend, your first crush, your first boyfriend, your first arguments, your first school, your first admirer, your first accident, your first achievement, and so forth. Everything, I repeat, EVERYTHING will come back and haunt you. Trust me. This unstoppable boredom does strikes me on something. Maybe later I want to do some 5-days-marathon of my 5 years in highschool. Well, what an idea, isn't it? Haha! (gila)

This holiday, I'm trying to change. Yeah, I'm hungry for changes. For now, I'm trying to off to bed early- 1am, 2am- and try to get up early- before 12pm. Still in progress. Then, try to burn 100cal each day. (Bafak seksa bodo!) I don't socialize much this holidays. Now, I'm back with my mengaji session. So, I cannot simply go out because I have my schedule planned. And sometimes, when I depressingly tired with all of my playlists, I turn on the "Surah-surah 30 Juzud" playlist. (tak bongkak.share story je) I even watch the sports now! Tadi Lin Dan won the game! Tak sia-sia tengok. Lin Dan memang handsome ((:

One more thing that I haven't done - KEMAS BILIK. My God, all the stuffs from hostel, so so banyaaakk! I don't know where to start and even how to start! Geez, I need a store or a big big gudang to trash all in. Baju-baju also cannot fit in the almari, so I have half left in the luggage. Maybe I'm going to derma half of it later. T-shirts sangat banyak! Baru sedar. LOL! Hmm. Nothing more I can update now. Guess, that's all from me. Until next time, Toddles! :D

Why Is The World So Gedik Gedik One Huh?

Good morning!! - dah tengah hari. Heh, I'm not exactly a morning type of person. Bangun pagi, teringat Ieka. "woi buat apa?" "eating, bosan" "jom keluar, nak bag baru" "amik aku, malas parking" -___-!!

So we went godek godek for handbags. Gila-gila harini. Berebut handbag dengan makcik makcik, mata ligat meliar. Padat betul kedai terbabit. I spent almost 1 hour fighting over. But at the end, I let it off. Maybe, it's not what I really really want. Maybe I just want to get one just because everyone is having or getting one. I can wait for 2011's.. or YES?! (YearEndSale) Oh, I can wait! :D After I'm done eating my Chickin Chickin, we went back to the shop and usha buat kali terakhir. "Not taking it, and it's FINAL," -Suddenly, Ieka hold my hand and off we go.

After chilling chilling at my place, I followed Abah to send Ieka home. On the way back, Abah asked me whether I want to tag along to Mak's house tommorrow? Well, as what I mentioned in earlier post, we have this tradition, playing giramy-Jeramie-gimrami (I don't know how to spell it but something sounds like that) every Sunday morning at Mak's place. "Maybe yes, lama tak jumpa Mak" "But you have to wait until we finished playing" "Okay, not going" "But tomorrow Abah want to ask Kak Aya about the colour" "What colour?" "For your car lah" "OMEGEEE I WANNA FOLLOW!!" "Sibuk je" Abah replied.

So we had a non-stop debate about the colour 'til we reached home. Abah gedik lah!

**Mak is my Grandma

Haji Amin in Action

DAY 1

Seorang anak dara Haji Amin nak pergi oversea. Haji Amin serabut agaknya. Asyik nak marah saja. Dua orang anak Haji Amin mulai STRESS. Haji Amin mengerah anak daranya yang sulung untuk keluar ke Plaza Alam Sentral untuk mencari seluar untuk anak daranya yang kecil kerana anak daranya itu tidak mempunyai seluar yang mencukupi untuk dibawa ke Jepun. Lalu anak dara sulungnya, bersama anak teruna beliau, membawa budak kecil itu ke Subang Parade. Ye, arah yang terpesong.

Walaupun anak dara kecil itu sudah membeli dua helai seluar baru yang harganya lebih mahal dari rekod sejarah seluar-seluar kakaknya, tetapi, dia nak juga bedal seluar-seluar dan jeggings kakaknya, siap pakai untuk ke airport, dan ada juga yang disimpan di dalam bagasi. Tidak berperikemanusiaan betul. Apa dia fikir kakaknya nak pakai apa di Malaysia? Cawat?

Untuk kali ke dua, kakaknya memecut kereta; selepas kali pertama pada tahun yang lalu kerana mengejar flight si Azfar, kerana Haji Amin suruh pantas, kerana takut terlambat untuk flight pada 8malam, padahal ketika itu baru 2petang. -__-" Beliau sangat nervous agaknya. Balik rumah, saya membebel mengatakan plug universal yang diberikan oleh Haji Amin kepada anak daranya itu ialah plug untuk Indonesia, plug Jepun lain. Haji Amin mulai gusar kerana takut terlewat untuk ke kedai untuk membeli plug yang betul. "Tapayah, dah beli dah tadi," kataku. Dia mulai senyum- malu agaknya, lalu berjalan keluar dari kamar sambil mengoffer duit CASH kepada anak daranya yang kecil. "Kakak pun nak!!" - "Jangan mengarut. Gaji awak kan abah dah bank in" - "Hehehehehe" Beliau tak tahu, sudah banyak duit saya lebur akhir akhir ni. Aduhai. Illy mulai lupa diri. Astaghfirullah'alazim.

Mood Haji Amin mulai 'back-on-track'

Okaylah, setakat itu saja update untuk sekarang. Harus bersiap. Tambahan pula, saya sedang lapar. Sayonara!! :D

ChickinLove

MOOD: SHAH ALAM

I'm home!! Well, hello sem break!! :D Abah fetched me siang tadi. The first thing that came out from his mouth, "Kakak dah gemuk...sikit eh?"

#%^*&@$%!!

Well, Achik is going to Hokkaido tomorrow. *sigh* Back then, in campus, usually I annoy Munki- cuz basically, she's my roomate, then now, at home, Achik is going to leave, so I have nobody to annoy
:( So BEWARE- you might be my next victim, PandaPanda!

I had some chickinnsss for my dinner. Yeay!! Chickin Chickin loves me!! and I love Chickin Chickin!! Chickin Chickin loves Tummy Tummy!! Tummy Tummy loves Chickin Chickin!! Tummy Tummy loves me!! and I love Tummy Tummy like Chickin Chickin!! and we love each other!!

Chickin Chickin ♥

And They Say

What is the PROS and CONS of having
Nur Illyana Shazmin in your life?

Fathin Husin: hahah. nk jugak kannn. okay you are.. sgt creative dan innovative. byk tolong i. sgt faham i. cute. too shy. humble. kawan baik adeel. eeeeeeee. kadang2 cepat panic. pendiam. very helpfull. pandai jimat. baik. always happy. tak berkira. agak sensitive. suka kacau fit. tukang gelak bila i kacau/buli bha. hahah. pandai jaga hati org. a good listener. easy to work with. tak cerewet. tak banyak songeh. munki munki eeeeee ♥

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Fitriliah Hani: wow. good ques it is. the good of u is tat u r so talkative. give u pen n paper, u gona work on it. i noe. well, it is juz fun having u around babe. fun girl, u r. sgt pandai amek hati. aww! :) thanks for all those moment! i wont forget an inch pon. well, the cons is tat, when ur mouth already talk tat much, so all tat much will also come out. haha. but babe, imma take no heart feelings. yes i try not to. its u kan. anything tat makes u happy la. xoxo illy illyana, my laling =) u r so adorable girl!! i believe u'll b the most adorable old women ever. jyeah!

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Adie Lokman: Pros, she's one of the most wonderful thing that has happened to me!! Huhu...... You just learnt a lot from her way of life.

Cons, she's unpredictable...

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Zaheera Harun: hahahah you are undeniably adorable to every human being there is, you have fabulous hair that would make all girl go green eyed over you. You are delusional in terms of thinking that you're fat
-___-, you are quite sensitive but you try your best not to show your feelings,you are very photogenic and you produce great pictures. Very hardworking in terms of assignments and always try to come up with the best results. You are shy, but still you dare to try new things and you could get wild at times. You are a hopeless romantic when you give your love to that certain someone and will go quite far for him. I think? You are kind, smart and you'll always hold a smile upon your face no matter what happens. You can get away with colors and you are very creative too. So in a nutshell, you're perfect for advertising. =)

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P/S: You may send me yours on my FormSpring or just strip down your comment on this post. Jasamu dikenang (:

And They Killing Me Softly

Many might say, I'm the bad one.

Well, sure is.




Label me with whatever you want.

I can't stop you.




I have my own reason. There's no third person. There's no other pressures. Maybe I'm not really a good lover. It's just not fair to him. Dear Afiq Syakir, you're the finest creature that ever come into my life. Thanks for your absence, for all your care and your unconditional love. I'm sorry for my behaviour, for being no respect, for all the unpaid sacrifices, and for every wound that's bleeding. I'm doomed. I really really am. I just can't stand it, seeing you like that. It hurts me so fucking bad, Sayang. Please, don't be like that. Seeing your tears, it's killing me softly. Having some conversations with Bha, knowing what's happening, it's quite a big hit on me. But I get what I deserved. And I'm ready for all the hatred that will come in my way. I'm doing this for your own good. I'm just not good enough for you. Sorry that I can't love you like the way you do me.


I love you, and I don't lie. But it's just not enough. So, I'm letting you go. Sorry for all those stupid reasons that I came up with. Yes, I lied on that. Yeah, many might misunderstood on that, but, whatever- that's not the point. Not to forget, thanks for the final date. I may seemed all calmed and heartless, but the truth is, I was crying inside, and still am. But my ego conquers it all. I know, I hurt everyone around you as I'm hurting their beloved friend so friggin' hard. But I don't care what others want to say about me. They're not you, they're not me. They know nothing, they feel nothing. They see nothing but all the facts that I am the one to blame. Maybe they got the point, but I just don't care. It's you who I care. This is why I'm telling you all this. I don't know what am I doing. I may not fully ready for any commitment. Let me be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of anything real. But by being scared, doesn't it means that you are on to something important? And if you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. So, I'm taking a chance. And by taking a chance, I might get all my doubts answered one day, InsyaAllah. And I think everyone deserves some times to themselves. Being alone, it sucks I know. But that is when we discover who we really are, and what we really want. I want to appreciate things, not only by words, but with my whole heart. I know, nobody likes to be alone, and this is why I'm all here if you need me. You won't be loosing me as you will always be my good buddy, Kilat.

It's a mistake, I know.

I may regret it one day, but let me.

I wanna do this mistake.

I'm sorry.


I love you.




You're just too good to be true.

And literally,













I don't deserved someone like you, Muhammad Afiq Syakir.
(2 months 11 days)
**November 9,2010

November 7, 2010.

I'm Sorry, Love.




I can't lie.
I don't want to force.
Give me some times.
Maybe all we need is, time for ourselves.


I'm Sorry. :(

My Shining Kilat (:

Two freaking days. I'm so freaking dead tired. Yangyang tidur already. Hehe. Capek terlampau tu. Haha. Yesterday, I went to KL, staying over Amirah's place while Yangyang and Cdek were staying over Ajin Debab's. Welcome to KL, Sayang! =D Thank you Amirah Babyboo and Debab! Sayang korang! Oh, cant wait for next week!! Sem break, baby! Oh, I miss Shah Alam already :( Just got back from KL with Yangyang. 1 hour and a half journey to Melaka. I just can't stop myself from potpetpotpet. Thanks for the earss, Sayang. =P And also, thanks to Munki for the ride yesterday :D wee! It was fun! Good enough for a sort of getaway. Need to loosen up a bit. I had enough pressure for the freaking semester.


And I just can't forget about that damn bag.


Kenapa kau lawa sangat. Fak you.

All At Sea

Nothing much happened today. Just 'preparing' for the upcoming Psycho paper. CTU was .. okay, kot. Just checked out Psycho carry marks. Alhamdulillah, maybe not great enough but it's beyond my expectation. So, YAHOO! :P Same goes to Graphic Design's. I hope my PR is doing just fine. *finger cross* Well, despite of that, I'm still carrying the baggage of emotions. It's one in the morning of Nov 2nd. I know. I should be studying Psycho now, or get in bed. But I'm not. It has been 3 days straight, 'Good Morning' has become my version of saying 'Good Night'. Guess, this heavy baggage is just getting heavier.

Although I know myself enough that when I'm pissed it's just for awhile and then I'll be fine and say hello to a new day. But it isn't working for this time. Sorry. Okay, let me get this straight. I do remember what I wanted to write about but the mood isn't here yet. A bit slowmo these days. *stress* Well, I had it a bit off tonight. Thanks, Munki. Thanks, Bha. Thanks, 550D. :D

Literally, it's just another raining day.


And same goes to other things.